A large glass jar candle with white wax and a festive 'Santa's Balls' holiday graphic label, shown on a clean white background.

Santa's Balls Original Christmas Candle

$38.00
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A large glass jar candle with white wax and a festive 'Santa's Balls' holiday graphic label, shown on a clean white background.
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  • A large glass jar candle with white wax and a festive 'Santa's Balls' holiday graphic label, shown on a clean white background.
  • A large glass jar candle with white wax and a festive 'Santa's Balls' holiday graphic label, shown on a grey wood background.
  • A candle jar labeled 'Santa's Balls' with a Santa Claus illustration sits on a white marble bathroom counter next to a black glass vessel sink and a potted green plant.
  • A lit candle in a clear glass jar with a Santa Claus illustration and the text 'Santa's Balls' on the front, sitting on a dark wood table next to two markers and a small USB drive. A blue paneled door is in the background.
  • A hand holding a clear glass jar candle with a cream-colored wax body and a colorful front label reading 'SANTA'S BALLS' with an illustration of Santa holding two gold Christmas ornaments.
  • A large glass jar candle with white wax and a festive 'Santa's Balls' holiday graphic label, shown on a clean white background.
  • A large glass jar candle with white wax and a festive 'Santa's Balls' holiday graphic label, shown on a grey wood background.
  • A candle jar labeled 'Santa's Balls' with a Santa Claus illustration sits on a white marble bathroom counter next to a black glass vessel sink and a potted green plant.
  • A lit candle in a clear glass jar with a Santa Claus illustration and the text 'Santa's Balls' on the front, sitting on a dark wood table next to two markers and a small USB drive. A blue paneled door is in the background.
  • A hand holding a clear glass jar candle with a cream-colored wax body and a colorful front label reading 'SANTA'S BALLS' with an illustration of Santa holding two gold Christmas ornaments.
Santa's Balls Original Christmas Candle
NAUGHTY LIST

Santa's Balls Original Christmas Candle

$38.00
Shipping $8
Arrives by ...
Buy 2, get free shipping
60-day returns
  • 13.75 oz glass jar
  • 60 to 80 hour burn
  • 100% USA soy wax
  • Hand-poured in New England

Scent: Pine Tree

The tree lot at night, minus the guy who overcharges you for it.

Notes: Top: Crisp Eucalyptus · Mid: Balsam Fir · Base: Cedarwood

Santa Answers Boring Questions

Description

Two ornaments, both mine, and Mrs. Claus can't stop staring. Hand-poured in New England with pure soy wax, because if my name is on it, it's going to burn right.
60-Day "Let's Be Reasonable" Returns

Didn't land? You've got 60 days from delivery. I'll send you a prepaid return label, you send the candle back, I refund you.

That's the whole policy. I've been doing this a long time and I've learned not to overcomplicate things.

One rule: at least half the candle comes back. I'm reasonable. I'm also keeping a list.

Cracked or broken when it arrived? Don't send it back. Send me a photo within 10 days and I'll make it right.
Ships Quick From New England

Your order leaves the workshop in 1 to 2 business days and lands in 2 to 4. Eight bucks flat, free over $75.

Order by December 12 and it's under the tree. After that I'll move as fast as the sleigh allows, but I'm not promising the 25th.

I used to do the whole planet in one night. The elves have unionized since then.
What's In This Candle?

Pure 100% USA soy wax. Not a blend. I checked.

Phthalate-free fragrance.

Cotton and paper wick. No lead, no zinc. I breathe enough chimney soot as it is.
Candle Care

First burn, give it 2 to 3 hours so the wax melts all the way to the glass. Cut it short and it tunnels. I’ve seen it. It’s sad.

Trim the wick to a quarter inch before each burn. Keep burns under 4 hours.

Keep it away from drafts, kids, pets and curtains. Stop when there’s a half inch of wax left.

Never leave it burning unattended. I do a lot of questionable things. That isn’t one of them.

Send something from Santa's Balls directly to your friends.

Packing slips don't list any pricing and you can add a gift message in the cart.

60-Day Returns

Full refund or exchange, plus a prepaid return label.

A red gift box with a return shipping label on it.

Santa Checked It Twice

Santa’s Candle Inspection Report

Pure USA soy wax NICE
Phthalate-free NICE
Cotton and paper wick NICE
Burns clean NICE
Hand-poured in New England NICE
Giving this as a gift NAUGHTY
Checked: Twice Inspector: Slick Wick the Elf
Approved by S. Claus

Are these naughty or nice? You decide.